


storge: familiar love

by groupieforbucky



Series: the love series [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Baby Spit-up, Breastfeeding, Domestic Fluff, Eating, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Food, Freeform, POV Third Person, Parenthood, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:36:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29851290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/groupieforbucky/pseuds/groupieforbucky
Summary: characteristic of that between a parent and child
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Series: the love series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2194680
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	storge: familiar love

for the first time in over two months now, consciousness came to her not from gargled cries, but from hushed affirmations. sweet cooing that pulled at her from the limbo she found herself in. her bones ached in ways she never knew possible, and her eyes burned from exhaustion more often than not. just as they did now, as she tried to listen in on the whispered words being spoken nearby. quiet suckling occasionally interrupted by a smack of gums against rubber.

“that’s it, see? dumb old dad can handle it…” a long sigh blew out from her nose, smile threatening to give her away. “’m not as pretty as mommy, though, am i? certainly not from the angle you’re gettin’.”

she cracked an eye at that, making sure he wasn’t looking to see her lips twitch once she couldn’t hold off anymore. thankfully, those baby blues were zeroed in on the tiny fingers clinging to a metallic one. his arm held steady, keeping the bottle in place even as those same tiny fingers began to jerk and pull in excitement.

“easy, slugger,” he laughed, eyes crinkling around the edges. “tryin’ to give me a run for my money, huh? well, you’re only allowed to use that hook on uncle sam, ya hear me?”

this time, she couldn’t keep her laugh contained, breathy snort breaking the near-complete silence. bucky looked to her with a knowing smile. she should have guessed he could sense her waking. nothing got past him.

“what are you teaching that poor girl?” she croaked, beckoning him over with a nod of her head.

“the facts of life, dear.” his weight dipped the bed in front of her, causing her body to wrap around his hips.

“how to stir the pot is more like it. troublemaker.”

the sound of her voice so close caused the little bundle to begin twitching, legs kicking out dramatically. bucky exaggerated a gasp, features wide with playful surprise. “who’s that, freddie? that your mama?” her miniature fingers released their hold on his own, mouth popping off of the bottle with a satisfied coo. as he always did, bucky began to hesitate in his movements. the bottle was placed between his knees, leaving his mechanical arm to hover awkwardly beside their babe.

a hand rubbed at his side gently, small voice encouraging, “go on.”

“she wants _you_ , doll…”

“but she already has _you_ , bear.”

a shaky breath left his parted lips, tongue soothing over the chapped skin before he began to maneuver the small body in his arms. he didn’t need to force himself to remember hand placement or form because it played constantly in his mind. all he had to do was exactly that; _do_.

his arm whirred quietly as he shifted their daughter over to it, propping up her neck carefully. she whined briefly, little muscles trying to adjust to the new position. he knew he must look ridiculous, hunched over way more than he needed to be to support her bottom on his thighs. a hum beside him allowed him to let out the breath he didn’t realize he’d begun to hold. with more confidence, but just as much caution, he tucked that soft chin into the crook of his thumb, free fingers slipping under her practically weightless arm. pressing her forward into his right hand brought his girls face-to-face.

“hi there, mush muffin!” his shoulders tensed when chubby legs kicked out. “oops, gotta hold still for daddy, okay?”

like she could understand, freddie stilled herself immediately. her full weight leaned into his flesh hand, lifted off his thighs now to stretch out her torso. his lips quirked in a smile. if only his ma could see him now. slowly, he connected his left hand to her back.

“did you do it?”

“yeah, doll, i just… i’m…”

the woman wrapped around his backside slid her hand up his spine. “i know,” she sighed sleepily, “but you won’t hurt her. she’s tougher than she looks.”

“must get that from you,” he posited. another pat landed on their daughter’s back, firmer this time. then one more, just to be sure, and then he allowed himself to get a steady rhythm going.

“mm, definitely not from you. right, winnie? is daddy a big ol’ softie?”

on cue, liquid dribbled out of the little one’s mouth. it trailed around bucky’s wrist, down his forearm, soaking into his shirt. he didn’t even flinch. not until a gasp echoed off the walls. “what, doll?” panic flooded his voice, but he was too afraid to look over, scared he’d jostle the babe further.

“b-bucky, she’s…”

he waited a beat before begging frantically, “she’s what?”

“she’s _smiling!_ ”

“ _what?_ ” he squawked, craning his head uncomfortably to get a look.

and there she was; little winnifred carol barnes staring into her mother’s eyes brightly, a gummy grin on display. it was full of drool and bubbles, but it was a _real_ one. it wasn’t from a peaceful dream or a twitch of her muscles. it was from happiness. she was _happy_. and as much as he hesitated to think it, his mind supplied that it was _because of him_.

“what a mug!” her mother gushed, rubbing little circles into bucky’s back. “did daddy do a good job, huh?”

a precious gurgle sounded between them in confirmation.

bucky faced the mother of his child with a shimmer in his eyes. her hand came up from his back to stroke over the side of his face, pushing away a stray strand of hair. “you’re a natural, bear.”

~

“where have they disappeared to?” she pondered out to the vacant aisle, hand smoothing over the front of her sweater where she could feel the extension of her stomach. the jar of cookie spread sneered down at her from the top shelf, mocking her in her condition. grumbling, she dug into her purse sat snugly in the child seat of the cart. before her fingers could even reach the phone they were in search of, a familiar giggle filled the store. shaking her head with a smile, she pushed the cart out of the aisle, spotting a little bun of brown hair over racks of home decor.

“doll, what about this?”

he knew she was coming. he always did.

“what?” she asked over the shelves between them, distracted by the array of artificial plants in cute ceramic pots. movement caught her eye, drew her attention back to the man over the divide. he presented a thick, wooden bowl with a quirked brow. “that’s nice. but will it pass the alpine test?” pursing his lips, bucky placed the bowl back on the top shelf and made a show of inching it slowly toward the edge. “buck,” she warned.

she winced when a hollow clattering started to ring throughout the immediate area. he ducked down, ignoring the piercing giggles he caused in favor of handing the bowl across the way. “i think it’ll do just fine.”

“dork,” she breathed, adoration oozing from her voice.

“new fruit bowl; check,” he smirked, watching her place it into the cart beside probably a dozen snack items. he grimaced at the sight, suddenly aware that their time with fresh foods from different markets around the city was dwindling. soon they’d be settling for fruits and veggies twice the price with half the flavor.

“come on, you two, i wanna see if i can find a new coat.” she carried on in the direction of the clothing, listening out for two sets of footsteps trailing behind her. where there should have been heavy boots and padded shuffling, _only_ heavy boots could be heard. stopping short, she turned to face a broad chest, inches away from slamming into her. “where’s…”

more giggling started up when she finally looked down, met with the sight of pinch-able cheeks puffed out in glee, eyes filled with wonder staring up at her upside down. she opened her mouth to question what exactly she was seeing, maybe even laugh a little, but was cut off. “what do you need a new coat for?” bucky asked, stepping around her with the front of winnie’s snowsuit still clutched in his fist.

as bucky rounded a rack of jeans, she looked after their daughter with a bewildered grin taking over her face. the toddler’s chorus of ‘ _bah blah blah bah bah_ ’ trailed off the further she got from her mother.

“i’m going to need one in a few weeks, bear. my old ones might be a little tight around the middle, don’t you think?” bucky hummed in acknowledgment, eyes skimming over the mix of autumn and winter clothing. catching up to him, she looked down at their child again. “another question…”

“yes, dear?”

“are you aware that you’re carrying our daughter around like a duffle bag?”

bucky looked to her first, then let his eyes fall to the babbling mess in his grasp. winnie looked up to him, emitting a screech of delight. “i’m aware,” he beamed.

she watched her two goofs as they gazed lovingly at one another, heart pounding within her chest. biting back the hormonal tears that began to sting behind her eyes, she faced the coats lining the wall beside them. “this one’s nice.”

~

a pang pinched her heart as she listened to the screaming just a room over. it had been like this for weeks now, and didn’t seem any closer to being resolved. this was normal, she tried to remind herself, but it didn’t make the disappointment on bucky’s face any less painful to look at. it didn’t soften the blow of having a baby glued to her side in fear, unable to latch onto her breast for more than a few seconds at a time.

“i want mommy! she reads better!”

“i know you do, muffin, but tonight-”

a deafening wail interrupted bucky’s soft tone, causing the boy in her arms to cling to her tighter.

“’m not a muffin!” winnie cried, voice slowly losing its strength.

she heard bucky sigh through the walls, “you’re right, freddie, you’re a big girl. i’m sorry.” silence came over the house, allowing the impending peace to start to slowly creep in. “and i know you want mommy to read to you tonight, but tonight is _my_ night, and mommy is feeding oliver. tomorrow night will be mommy’s turn again, okay?”

it was quiet and muffled, but she heard the little surrender come from their daughter.

finally, bucky’s warm voice filled the house, lilting and bellowing at different points in whatever book he was reading from. the boy in her arms was able to settle, big eyes now hooded, chubby hands tugging on anything he could reach as he grew more and more tired. he detached with a full tummy and a silly, sated smile on his face. she couldn’t help but notice how much he resembled his father like this. that little nose was almost an exact copy.

carefully, she stood from the rocking chair to place him into his crib just to her left. he fidgeted for a moment, tiny fingers wrapping around one of her own as he drifted off again. she smoothed her thumb over his velvety cheek before checking the monitor. it was then that she noticed bucky’s voice had ceased, and a quiet had made itself at home. with one final look to their son, she stepped out into the hall, leaving a small crack in the door. as always, alpine sauntered by her, rubbing a fluffy, white butt against her legs and disappearing into the dark room.

she braced herself outside her and bucky’s bedroom, already knowing what was waiting for her.

just as was expected, she was met with the sight of the brunet sat on the edge of their bed; forehead in his hands, elbows on his knees. she watched him for a beat, but chose to let him sit for a little while longer. sometimes he needed the alone time to collect himself before he was willing to listen or be heard. so she went about their usual bedtime routine without him, knowing tonight wasn’t going to be a night where they could spend some time together on the couch, indulging in documentaries.

she turned out lights, checked baby monitors, and padded into the bathroom. just as she spat out her toothpaste, a wide form filled the doorway.

“oh, bear,” she pouted at the deep frown on his face. he kept his gaze to the floor as she got his toothbrush out for him, offering it over with a glob of minty blue on its bristles. “i know it can feel like it doesn’t mean much,” she began, watching him closely over his shoulder once he stood before the sink. “but she’s just… not able to control her emotions. sometimes she doesn’t even know what emotions she’s feeling.”

he spit forcefully, leaning onto the porcelain rim of the sink, hands clenched into fists. she didn’t say it, but his mind easily supplied, ‘ _just like you were_.’

it felt like a lifetime ago, yes, but it still haunted him. those early days of coming back to civilian life, trying to figure out who he even _was_ anymore… it felt a lot like growing up again.

bucky allowed her to pull him along to their bed, choosing to sit back on the edge while she melted into the sheets. “i guess,” he started, staring ahead at the wall. “i guess i’m just feeling a little… abandoned.”

“bucky…”

“can you blame me, doll?” finally swinging his legs onto the bed and facing her, he saw her brows creased in sympathy. “she used to only wanna hang around _me_. used to cry when i was gone for two seconds. now… now it’s like she wants nothing to do with me.”

reaching over, she pushed against his chest until he gave in and rolled over, back now to her. he let out a sigh when she curled her arms around him, rubbing her hand over his chest right above his heart. “her whole world is changing, bucky. preschool’s a big shift. she’s confused and frustrated and lonely… and she doesn’t know how to process it all yet.”

“but does she have to hate me so much?”

“she does _not_ hate you, bear. that little girl thinks the world of you.”

he knew what she was gonna say next, and it both made his stomach knot and his heart sing.

“you’re her hero.”

they stayed silent for a while, just breathing slowly together, ears focused in on the little radios atop both nightstands. it wasn’t until he heard her breathing even out, felt her arms go limp, that he allowed himself to let her words sink in. maybe he was being selfish and even a little _childish_. 

he just wanted his little muffin back.

~

waking up on saturdays used to be the best time of the week. everyone would roll out of bed and have breakfast together, and then bucky would spend most of the morning in the sunroom with winnie making little people out of modeling dough. they’d come up with the most fantastic stories about the squishy figures, more often than not spending more time on the narratives than the people themselves and ending up with an army of blobs.

lately, however, saturdays had become one of the hardest days of the week.

winnie was exhausted from preschool, sometimes not even waking up before breakfast was nearly over. and when she did roll out of bed, she wanted to just curl into her mother’s side on the couch and watch cartoons mindlessly.

bucky understood, he really did, but it still stung.

so when he woke up to muffled laughter, he took a moment to process what was going on around him. it was definitely saturday, the letters on his phone burning into his eyes all the confirmation he needed. the bed behind him was empty and chilled, a comforting scent still lingering in the threads of their sheets. he took a moment to breathe it in before braving the storm.

slowly making his way into the kitchen, he was met with familiar sounds of forks scraping against plates, innocent chatter and babbling, cheerful words of interest about days spent coloring and counting beans… he had to take a moment to collect himself and remember that this was all _his_.

she spotted him first, smiling at him from the dining table and nodding to his usual chair as she spooned mush into oliver’s waiting mouth. a place was already set for him, all his favorites piled onto one of their mismatched pieces of dinnerware. it was no doubt lukewarm at best, but that was okay. he’d gotten used to less-than-hot meals, taken comfort in them.

when he stepped into the dining area, winnie spotted him and ran off from her seat across from her mother. his chest seized up, but he pushed on to plant a kiss on the top of their son’s head. he squealed and slapped his hands against his highchair, sending bits of cereal and yogurt all over the place. bucky mumbled a ‘ _sorry_ ,’ and sat himself in his seat, leaning over his food to kiss the woman who’d cooked it.

“good morning, bear,” she hummed, gaze fixed softly on him.

“morning, doll.” he coughed to clear his throat of the tears starting to well up inside him before setting his mind on getting something in his stomach to keep it from flipping. just as he started to bring a piece of toast to his lips, a small hand tugged at the hem of his shirt.

“daddy?” winnie tried, her eyes nervously glued to the piece of paper in her free hand.

“yes, mu- freddie?”

without a word, she offered out the paper, bucky taking it from her gently. he stared at her for a moment longer before looking down at what was now in his hands.

uneven squiggles covered the sheet, coming together to form two stick people sitting in front of a window. one of them, the bigger one, had long lines of brown falling from its head and a comically large red cape around its thin neck. what had those tears pushing to the surface, though, was the scribbled writing around the edges.

‘ _sooper dad_ ,’ at the top, bottom corner displaying, ‘ _♡ - mufin_ ’

“do you like it, daddy?”

bucky didn’t hesitate to scoop her up into his arms, careful not to mangle the art with even one crease. “i love it. i love _you_.”

“i love you, too, daddy,” she whispered, curling into him like she used to; face buried in his chest, little hand clutching his worn shirt. “can we make friends today?”

bucky looked over to her mother in a panic, remembering that all the tubs of modeling dough had dried out. she winked at him and motioned to the sunroom just off to the side. a fresh pack of bright yellow containers stared at him from the coffee table there.

“you got it, muffin.”


End file.
